How do you talk to yourself, when you are just with you?

We talk so much about empathy and compassion, yet these are the things we often forget to practice with ourselves. We are so unkind to ourselves, often find ourselves saying things that we would never to any person. This leads to unsettling feelings for self.
When we do practice kindness, it comes from a place of forced expectations rather than a true reflection of kindness. There is a lot of talk about positive self-talk, but often we end up being judgemental in our effort to be more positive.

We are unable to differentiate between the action and the person that I am. My action is not my identity. For example, if we do something silly, we often say “I am so silly”, instead practice making this distinction between you and the action and say “That was so silly”. Or instead of saying, “I can be so detached/socially awkward/isolated, etc”, say, “I am not replying to the messages and emails” or “I am not in the space to go out for this event”. There are so many posts on the internet talking about characteristics of an xyz (insert judgement) and it boggles us because we find that we are different in different situations and with different people. When we constantly pass these judgements, we form a pattern and with repetition it becomes our reality, but as a matter of fact, it is not your identity, you are a lot more than silly, socially withdrawn, etc. It is your action in that temporary moment, a fleeting thought or a feeling, not YOU!